He is the Gift

Every day since Thanksgiving it has been the same. Children presenting lists of Christmas wants that have barely changed since that time. 

Determined to give my kids' the three gifts* they wanted the most, I started on my Christmas shopping. I was done in no time, except for one. 

Every time I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, I got the same answer "I want everybody to know the true meaning of Christmas."

After a couple weeks of my prodding for other gift options, he added jelly beans. Sometimes he would add gummy lifesavers, but his number one gift that people know the true meaning of Christmas has never changed. 

For my Ethan:

Dear world,

I believe in Jesus. I celebrate Christmas in honor of His birth. Christmas is literally "Christ's Mass".

Jesus has brought me peace in life. May you feel the love and happiness you deserve through Him. 

Matthew 1:21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins.

Remember the reason for the season for me... for Ethan... for Him. 

Forever in Love,

Me

*based from the three gifts Christ received

Work Christmas Party

After surving a supposed "family" work party with my children, I decided I would give advice to anyone in a similar situation.

1. Although you may like giving your child freedom of choice for their wardrobe, maybe letting the majority of your children wear pajamas may not be a good idea. 

2. Babies are cute. Toddlers are loud. Childless couples are unsympathetic.

3. The announcement that we made a Halloween cake mix because it was in clearance to a Christmas party doesn't go over smooth. Either does the child's annoucement that it's okay that it's old because he made it. 

4. If you think your boss micromanaged you, just wait until four kids are serving themselves at the buffet table. 

5. On that same note, pies are hard to dish out. Spoons?

6. Someone is bound to spill something.

7. You don't have to wait until it's really is boring to leave, they will continue to remind you. In front of the director. 

8. One word: tantrum... and not by youngest

9. Confirm other children will be there to the "family party"

What if my son was Jesus?

For several years, I have overheard members of the Easter Pageant describe the closeness they felt to the spirit while participating in the pagaent. I longed for that sweet feeling. 

For the last two years, I have put the auditions in my calendar, but every October we were busy... until this year. 

After the group auditions, one of the producers followed us out. He asked me my name, and then directed the rest of the questions to my older son. "How old are you? Why are you here?"

Knowing there is a part for a 12 year old Jesus, I was intrigued by his interest in my child. 

And then it hit me, what if my child was Jesus?

Would his homework matter? Would I offer a helping hand when he spilled his milk for the third time that day?  Would I provide more service opportunities?  Would he still play on sports teams?  How would I handle conflicts?

Would I show my love more?

UPDATE:

My children and I were selected for the Easter pageant. My children will be with Jesus, and I hope that as they sit on his lap, they will feel HIS love.

Safe

When my son was a baby, he would not sleep in his crib. In fact, he slept in between my legs with his head on my belly for 18 months straight. His little sister broke his cycle, but he often found his way back to my bed. 

Two days ago, thunder woke up the house; I was even scared. 

My now much older son jumped onto my belly again. 

"Mom, you just make me feel safe."

I am glad I am always open for him. 

My days have been longer and more stressful lately. I have the average practices, parent meetings, concerts, and games while my husband is off the grid due to football, but I have to add multiple doctors visits as well. 

I had the need to feel safe. I ran to the temple, but slowed down while I was there. I felt safe enough that I could attack a few more days. 

I am glad He is always open for me. 

Faith, Love, and More Faith, AKA the baby that saved my life

Almost three years ago, I got a premonition to have another baby. 

This did not come from me. I was content with my older four children. I was in a high paying career. I had just sold all my baby stuff.  Another child did not fit into my symmetrical brain. 

My husband took the biggest leap of faith when the morning after he said no, he said, "I think you are crazy, but Heavenly Father gives you revelation regarding childbirth."

We would need to seek help from a professional to get pregnant for the first time ever. 

The endocrine reproductive doctor did more tests than I knew existed, and I didn't understand why they were even necessary because we knew the man-made problem. So when the doctor made me promise to follow up on my abnormal lab values, I wasn't worried. As my dad says, I'm "a baby making machine."

Annastasia was my most difficult pregnancy. I was beyond tired, I lost hair, gained the most weight, and my legs hurt. I attributed it to my advanced maternal age. 

I half heartedly followed up on my labs while I was still breast feeding. They didn't test all the labs, but the ones we did were normal. 

The leg pain continued, so I had more labs and ultrasounds without any cause. 

My fatigue was so bad; I pleaded with my doctor to give me something for sleep. I quit one job and scaled the other job down to only once a week. 

Nothing help. I drank more water. I became taking vitamins and other supplements. 

I was becoming depressed. Chronic pain and chronic fatigue were a horrible way to live. Only the love of that baby kept me around. 

I finally returned to my doctor and had all the labs repeated even the obscure ones.

This time the problem was revealed. 

I now put my faith back in my Heavenly Father. I was supposed to have Annie in order to expose my health problems; He was helping me.

And I now know that Heavenly Father really does love me. 

RaeRae

Never in a million years could I have imagined having a girl like you.  You excel in areas I struggle. 

The world is yours for the taking. 

Baptism

To really know Larissa is to love her. 

There is no pretending with her.  If she likes you, she really likes you. That is why I wasn't too surprised that she had invited a substitute teacher who actually came. 

"There is something really special about her," the teacher said with tears in her eyes. 

I agree. 

"And one with style, Mom"

Congratulations, Larissa to a positive beginning. 

School

From first bus pickup at 7am to last school starting after 9am, I was concerned for the expanded morning. 

My worries have turned into small blessings as I have more private time with each of my children. 

Here's to a great year. 

Individual Worth

I sighed one of my biggest sighs. Maybe I was hoping to breathe in knowledge. Hopefully I would breathe out my negative quick reactions. I hate seeing my girl in pain. 

"Can I tell you a story?" It was the only thing I could think to do, so I continued without permission. 

"One upon a time, there was a happy little girl who made her own decisions. She had one friend that said her shirt was ugly. Another friend that told her to get a new backpack.  Little by little the girl started making changes. Until one day, the girl realized she didn't know what SHE wanted."

A large tear that had been accumulating in her eye finally took the large journey down her cheek. I continued because I knew she was getting the message she needed to hear. 

"If Heavenly Father wanted us to be the same, we would all look alike. Instead, I got a beautiful, petite little girl with long hair and auburn highlights." I knew I had touched upon insecurities.

"Don't forget your individual worth."

~*~*~*~

In hindsight, I realized the bible it just stories or parables because it allows the audience to hear what they need to hear. Individually. Because we all have our own problems... and our own worth. 

And maybe there was apart of the story I needed to hear as well. 

Happy Birthday

Herston wasn't sure how he wanted to celebrate his birthday, so following tradition, we also honored flag dayhttp://skinnerfamilynews.blogspot.com/2013/06/happy-birthday.html. 

Very last minute, Herston decided he wanted a mountain cake. Not too shabby for boycotting Pinterest. 

Lucky boy. Happy boy. 

Actually, lucky momma.  I am so pleased how well this boy is turning out.

We are so grateful for friends AND family to celebrate with. 

Summer of independence

It's days like this that I start thinking about homeschool, but I know it is self serving; I just enjoy their company. 

I cannot express how important summers are to my children. It is the time they learn life skills... and a little independence.

My oldest daughter has been navigating herself through the week much on her own, but she is still thoughtful enough to send me loving texts from the extra family phone at lunch. She made my day. 

The kitchen is cleaned, and the dishwasher is running all by children under 7 years old. 

The 9 year old made a well balanced lunch for the family and he even successfully managed the range top. 

Excuse me while I join my kids and finish my book, The Happiness Project, already in full swing. 

Memorial Day

Bright and early we dropped our oldest off for girls' camp. She is lucky enough to go with some good friends. Although I wasn't able to get a good picture of her before she left, I received a tender mercy in the form of picture texts from her leader. 

I absolutely love her candid face as she is getting on the bus. It's as if she is saying "bring on the fun."

Grant took the rest of the kids to the National Memorial Cemetery of Arizona to visit his grandpa, Lieutenant Langford, who fought against the tyranny of the Axis powers. 

The rest of the day was spent at the pool. Annie required complete independence lest she started a screaming match. Fortunately, she was content on the first step. 

Cousins played and invented new games. Herston found his inner courage and decided he would be an official swimmer today. I find it interesting he went from certified life vest to swimming the length of the pool, but nonetheless, I'm happy in his progress. 

If today was any indication for the rest of the summer, I anticipate a long successful vacation.

God bless. 

6th grade graduation

The girl is growing up.  I always knew it would happen, and I'm not trying to hold her back. I just cannot believe the time has gone so fast.

She is a rock star. She received many awards today, and I am not surprised. She completes book reports weeks before they are due. She hates being late and missing school, and I am pretty sure she knows every student and staff's name. 

Some of the awards received:

PE student of the year

Honor Roll

Orchestra Leader Award

No Tardy recognization

Art recognization 

Frozen Recital

The end of the school year always includes a great round up of recitals, performances, and ceremonies.  This year was no different.

My older four children performed a melody of songs from the Disney movie Frozen for children at Cardon's Children Medical Center.  I thought it was a wonderful opportunity to showcase what my children have been singing as well as distract some of the hospitalized children.

Not to mention there were some pretty sweet cameos, like Steve Young and the princesses from Character Crush. 

Not to be out done, the baby has begun practicing her singing routine.  Luckily, I was able to catch this little video of her when she was supposed to be napping.

Happy Mother's Day

For those that know me, Mother's Day is not my favorite holiday. 

A perfect mother is a fallacy. 

There can be real hurt with regret or painful losses. 

It's not about the purse or the necklace. 

It's about honor. It's about expressing emotion that should be expressed daily. 

It's about everyone of your children on stage searching to make eye contact looking for validation only a mother can give. 

It's about your oldest hitch-hiking a ride to Fry's from the neighbor to buy you a "Greatest Mom" shirt with her babysitting money. 

It's about your smart, but scattered child waking up early to clean his room.

It's about the sentimental child writing notes, scattered around the house with words of love. 

It's about your non-sentimental child crying happy tears for the first time. 

It's about the baby who is only able to be consoled by your touch. 

I have a great mother. I have a great mother in law, and I am surrounded by real examples of mothers with honor, encouragement, and faith.

Bless you on this day. Bless your pain. Bless your joy. You are loved. 

And you are doing a great job. Believe it. 

Nothing

The house is empty. Hearts our full. 

Our house recently underwent an overhaul. Before the remodel, I donated bags and bags while participating in a decluttering lent challenge. (I even stalked a woman on the poor side of town and gave her my newborn clothes.) Anything that survived the 40 day challenge was taken out of the house, but I don't see myself putting in back in my open house*. 

The kids are doing nothing beside the mandatory cuddle time with me. No sports. No computer programming classes. 

Nothingness. 

Life is grand.

 *Literally, open house. We are still awaiting doors.

Night, night, no!

Oh, I remember now. 

This is where the sweet cute baby moves. Granted our moving is just a fast one legged boot scoot with intermittent standing, but moving no less. 

My goal today was to clean the house and prepare dinner during lunchtime because I knew the afternoon would be busy. 

Somewhere between putting the chicken on the stove and peeling carrots, she found every drawer and shelf and emptied them. 

"Annie, you need to go night, night."

"Night, night, no!"

Funny, I don't remember arguing with a 12 month old before. 

Right now I am laying on my bed... exhausted... with a house messier than when I started... listening to my baby playing with the window from her crib, and I realized she's won again. 

First Tooth

I love this child. Afraid of the unknown, he refused to pull out his wiggly tooth for weeks. 

Dear Annastasia

 

Dear Annastasia, 

Has it really almost been a year? Every day I look at you, I see a miracle. You have taught me the sacred power of maternity and every attempt at motherhood is a valiant effort. Motherhood should be reverenced from the mental inception and desire to delivery. Jokes about pregnancies have lost their humor when there are woman begging for a child. 

 You forget all your troubles when you are swinging in the backyard. When the front door is open, you dash outside the door with your one legged crawl just to sit in the sun. I believe you love being outside so much because you know you almost missed that opportunity. As wonderful as I imagine heaven, we both know this is where you are supposed to be right now. My first round of babies went by so fast; I am savoring every minute this time. 

Thank you. I love you. 

 Mom

Oh Annie

Oh, my poor Annie.  She is so terribly sick. My heart is broken. 

She cried so hard a blood vessel burst in her eye.

Housework has stopped this week in order to hold her.

And I still love her with every part of my being. 

Happy 9th Birthday

Nine years ago my doctor recommended a modified bedrest to make sure my baby was not born too early. 

However, when I got the green light, he would not come!

I hated being pregnant, and I wanted to deliver him before the new year.

On January 1st, depleted, I got down on my knees and cried. I begged The Lord to help me accept my baby's time frame.

He was born the next morning, and it was my easiest labor. 

At the time, I didn't realize how much I would need that pray to be his mother. 

I love this kid. Happy birthday. Thanks for helping me slow down and enjoy the moment.